Ten Weeks: Ridiculous Charts!

So I really wanted to stick to a plan and provide structure with results. It morphed as it went along. You're welcome to scroll down to the end and find the TLDR version of this post.

Letting my brain wander (I really, really wanted to stay interested, motivated, and get excited every day I work), I pretended I was going to teach a class-- being both the teacher AND student, and fantasized that one day maybe I could teach this course to someone else one day. Egotistical? Complicated? Absolutely. But a start...

"Even a cool knowledge triangle!"

What I had in mind from the start was to sharpen my technique, figure out what I wanted in my pictures, brush up on art history, and complete many studies from other artists' work, and re-experience growth.
Bargue copies, life/observational drawing (portrait, model, still life), master copies from the guys I think are the best (only rule being that they're already dead), imagination (if I wanted to draw the cutest ice creams of my dreams, I could), and color theory (so i can understand and formulate better color choices, and indirectly value). I even came up with a cool knowledge triangle like the Health Triangle (see top middle). Barf.

Next, I came up with I set up a ridiculous thing to keep me occupied for every hour of my free time, practically. Already I knew I wasn't going to be able to keep up but if I shot really really big, I'd grow comfortable with some level of rigor.

So all I have to do is sit down and do this, right?

Huge lesson here is how much time I actually have (upper left-each tally is an hour of open time). And how I need to be realistic about it--Like I'm really not going to do more work after I get out from my job at 9:30 PM. I factored that in. I planned to take Saturday off. Above, I still had the idea that I could partition out the time just like when I was in college and fully focus on different subjects at a specific time (HMMnope) and listed helpful texts* I could read (correction, refer to, because of my flea-like attention span).  I also wrote what I hoped to get out of it. If I could stick to it, I promised myself rewards (classes in SF, here I come), and the time frame.

Next I really got specific and whittled down every minute and set more specific goals and exactly what pieces I wanted to end up with at the end. This is partly down a good path and partly horrific brambly balls. Aiming for set number of pieces good, crushing schedule exactitude bad. Long term goals good, promising rest if I killed myself in the studio bad. I tried not to be overtly negative about my own work below, I'm pretty hugely aware of my flaws (yet have trouble working on them). Trying to be upbeat good. Seeing this mess below bad. Ug.

5 pieces going at any time. Sickening, difficult, and the right thing to do.

I also organized my current work into portfolio groups so I wouldn't be scared that what I would make next wouldn't fall in anywhere. Good idea, but it's somewhat needless worrying for now.  Indicated also is what year I made the painting. I really don't want old stuff in there but I gotta face myself. This is where I'm at right now. I sorted stuff into groups-- Still Life, Other, Drawing, Land[scape], Pop, and All Around. It's like the Olympics. And I couldn't help but editorialize that I felt my work gets the Traditional, Thoughtful, Mundane, Boring, and Stiff medals.

"I've gotta face myself. This is where I'm at right now."

TLDR: After a few more to-do lists, I set a date. Start date: July 30. End: October 8.

Next up is the weekly play by play where I tell you what I tried to do, and what I actually did, with some progress photos.

*These are the books:
Gardner's Art Through the Ages, 12th ed.
Ocvirk's Art and Fundementals: Theory and Practice
Art: Over 2,500 Works from Cave to Contemporary  (a heavy, yet convenient picture jammed index)
Charles Bargue Drawing Course
Art & Fear: Observations On the Perils (and Rewards) of Artmaking (as important as Linus' security blanket)

Ten Weeks: Overview

I was not productive enough, so I put myself on a schedule. A ten week schedule reminiscent of my college days (we had ten week quarters at the time, not traditional semesters). Ten paintings, ten weeks. A tall order for me since I was only kicking out one or two things a month. But even though I have a part time job and a life, I managed to stick to it.

Here are my fears: that I have not picked the right path for myself, that I've failed as an artist, that everything I do is a huge waste of time, is stupid, and says nothing. I'm even afraid to use my own paints and panels for fear of wasting them, and therefore I've wasted my own money on those materials. I worry about time, the perfect time to start something (hint: there is no perfect time).  Even right now, I cannot yet physically bring myself to draw what I want in the goof-off time I have; I've got it hammered in my head that it's so stupid to begin with. I'm stranded on Lonely Artist Island and "that" voice is loud and clear and the only way to get by it is to work and to trust that it's fine.Well, my plan didn't cure it, but just set me on the path to be able to create--a start.

Just ten paintings. Some would take longer, some shorter, doesn't matter, just have to have ten at the end. Doesn't matter what size, media, or complexity. I want the work to be coherent, but it's coming from my hands, heart, and brain, so somehow, it must be... I worried about repeating myself in the paintings, but that tied the work together even more.

It exceeded my expectations.  My painting mortality rate was only 20%! 8 very good paintings I can stand behind came out of this, and I had started 10. I painted what I felt like given the goals I'm drifting toward (full time gallery artist). In my case, it turned out that painting in [what I'd call] a rational stream of consciousness, I have three or four things going on between my pictures. The discovery is that no matter what I make, it's probably going to funnel into one of four, maybe five kinds of my pictures. That's comforting, gives me confidence to talk about the work because I can distinguish it, and means I have lots more to make. Seeing the work all together does give a sense of accomplishment and coherence. Huge reward. Like two term papers finished during a single overnighter reward.

I am now on what I am calling week eleven, the break week, fun week to do and make whatever I please. So far I chose to blog, put finishing touches on the 10th painting, and plan the next Ten Weeks. I was so surprised I wanted to keep rolling since I promised myself a no consequence recess! Next week will be the start of my next quarter. Ten more paintings again.

In the next post, I'll talk about the (*cough* phony) rules of my Ten Weeks complete with horrifically boring documentation, how it changed (indeed it did), and pictures (they aren't all dry/varnished/photographed yet).